Walking into oblivion

with a smile.

But the change...

-My broda, Zak

You know, I used to break into pet shops to liberate the canaries. But I realized that was an idea way before its time. Oh, how the world dearly loves a cage.

There really is no reason as to why I do anything. I just do it just cause, like on a whim. I like to think that perhaps on a higher level I'm subconsciously being influenced by the Divine Father, I blow about so easily like a tumbleweed being guided by the unseen force of the wind, but I have no proof of this, yuh know? I'm just hur right now. Like this right now:

Isn't that pretty? I just wanted to put that in there. There's something ethereal about it. It's nice. There's really no other reason for it... there's really no other reason for it... (I just said that slowly and to myself.) But anyways, a story to show my point: I have a nag for Publix excursions. And I've also become well acquainted with the sushi man there. If I ask, he makes my sushi custom, and if I stand in front of the sushi "bar" scrutinizing each roll and picking out its flaws, he'll eventually go get my a basket from the front of the store cause he knows I'm about to buy a lot.. to last me the week, of course (shifty eyes). So today, on a whim, sushi fellow suggested I also buy some ginger to help clear sinuses and nasal congestion. I'm a vegetarian. I don't get sick, it's difficult to. Now that's a large claim.. I don't give the full responsibility to my being a veggie head the soul reason as to why I rarely get sick, but from my observations since I've become a vegetarian I DEFINITELY don't get sick very often, EVER, and if I've told you I wasn't feeling to well I was saying that to get out of something... my apologies for my mortal flaws. Back to my story now, so I tend to not get sick. And as a matter of fact, I felt fine today and have been for awhile and wasn't suffering from any sinuses or nasal congestion. But as to please his kind hospitality towards me, a little ginger won't hurt. So sure, I got some in my sushi. Deliceuse. I enjoyed it vigorously. He put some on the side. Then after returning home later from a pleasant walk to CVS for chapstick, my nose started getting stuffy. Thus, my healthy streak is broken. However because on a whim I went to Publix for some sushi, and on a whim my fellow added ginger to my sushi and gave me some on the side so that I had some left over, I am now nasaly clear. Bless you, sushi man, bless you.

Can I tell you something?

Can I tell you what I feel, and you will listen? Don't pass judgement, because I've already been judged so many times, and all I wanted was to talk. I want to say what's on my heart, cause my mind is just rattled. I feel my heart more. It's large and carries more weight than it possibly should. It houses things that have never been said, and through it all my life flows. I don't have the time in a short minute to tell you what it said to me this morning. But it was woeful, and still full of life. It said, speak, speak so that I may listen. I've loved you for such a long time still.

when you finally break my legs
and i can never leave the house again
then i'll finally love you
and we can have some kids.

There are five empty coffee cups in my room, some still have coffee remnants at the bottom. This morning I acquired a bottle of 100% pure aloe vera juice, and its not good. But I carry Texas in me. I had to have it. It reminds me of home and all of the sunburns I endured for the sake of getting fresh air. In Texas, Aloe plants grow wild which is cosmically orchestrated cause you'll suffer from third degree burns if you stay outside for more than ten minutes. And you'll kiss the aloe plant for its healing plant blood while you curse the flatlands and its dryness and the infernal sun... I have many times. This is what I read about internally consuming aloe vera juice from The American Chronicle online:

The health benefits of aloe vera taken internally include: improved circulation, regulation of blood pressure, promotes healing of bones and joints, strengthens the immune system,

defends the body against bacteria, heals internal

tissue damage,

heals ulcers, improves and even eliminates constipation,

blood sugar regulation, and reduces itchiness in psoriasis helping it to heal.

Drinking two to four ounces a day is all that is required to gain the

many benefits of aloe vera

juice.

The detoxification properties of aloe vera juice also act to

detoxify your blood stream. If you have intestinal or stomach problems

it can help your digestive

tract to work smoothly.One of the most important health

benefits of aloe vera juice is its operation as an anti-bacterial and

anti-fungal agent, helping to prevent the onset of disease in the body. One of the most valuable

health benefits for today's society is aloe vera's

ability to assist weight loss

. Aloe vera works to both reduce

and stabilize the body mass index by stimulating the metabolic rate in

our liver cells so that we burn more energy. The energy used for this comes from fat

and carbohydrate stores in the body. Drinking aloe vera juice

every day has been likened to doing multiple workouts throughout the week.

Another reason why aloe vera works well as a

weightloss supplement,

is because it has a high content of collagen protein. When you drink

aloe vera juice every day, the body has to spend additional

energy to assimilate its protein into your system.

But enough about Aloe and Texas... I'd rather talk about Mary Oliver who I got to hug and kiss when she came for her poetry reading. She smelt like puppies and cigarettes and a strand of her silver hair got loose and floated into my

mouth as she broke from my embrace. I swallowed it, hoping it would course through my bloodstream and she would manifest herself in my own writing. I've yet to find out if that worked...

Don't bother me.

I've just

been born.

-Mary Oliver

I am sitting in my room, wondering whether I should pick up any new addictions. Not like the ones I have aren't enough, but they're not dangerous.

I should smoke cigarettes.

I should be a wino.

I should swallow paint.

My little cat is steadily watching my birds who are also watching her. I know she wants to eat them.

Where did you come from?

I don't know.

Where are you going?

A ways down the road.

Something peculiar happened to me the other night, and I'm afraid it might have been sacriligious, but I don't know. I don't know anything really, and this is good. My cup is always empty. At least nothing bad was caused by it... it was very bizarre. I don't know if I want that to ever happen again... but it would be selfish of me to reject any gifting that may touch another. The world's so much larger than myself; there's so much more to it. It's selfish to think of only yourself, of only your individual happiness, of only how others may perceive you.. Duhhh. The closer I come to God, the more I truly realize in my being that nothing is ever about me, not even slightly. Everything is about everyone. We're all one body.

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together...

COO COO CUCHOO!!

Evian was really upset last week. He said he was annoyed, and there was nothing anyone could do. He was frustrated with other people's actions, even though no one had done anything to him directly. I asked him then why was he mad. He said, "because you are everyone, and everyone is you. These people are doin' stupid shit, and they're not gonna stop and you can't stop them. So all these people are doin' stupid shit and it affects you cause you're everyone and everyone is you. Don't forget that."

Where did you come from?

Where did you go?

Where did you come from,

Cotton-eyed Joe.

Why be a veggie head.

Here are some particular reasons to, if not become a

vegetarian, at least cut back meat consumption drastically:

Human anatomy: We're most similar to other herbivores,

and drastically different from carnivores and true omnivores.

Health: The science shows that the more meat we eat, the sicker we get

-- heart disease, cancer, diabetes, osteoporosis, and

every other major degenerative disease.

If eating meat were so natural, it wouldn't destroy our health.

Physical performance: People have much better endurance

when they don't eat meat -- whether they're professional athletes or not.

Our early ancestors from at least four million years ago

were almost exclusively vegetarian.

Our omnivorism means we're capable of eating meat

(useful from a survival standpoint if that's all that's available),

but our bodies aren't geared for it to be a normal, significant part of our diets.

The animals most similar to us, the other primates,

eat an almost exclusively vegetarian diet

(and their main non-plant food often isn't meat, it's termites).

Our teeth, saliva, stomach acid, and intestines are most similar to other

plant-eaters, and dissimilar to carnivores and true omnivores.

Among animals, plant-eaters have the longest lifespans,

and humans are certainly in that category

(and yes, this was true even before modern medicine).

We sleep about the same amount of time as other herbivores,

and less than carnivores and true omnivores.

The most common cause of choking deaths is eating meat.

Real carnivores don't have that problem.